Today I interviewed a new babysitter or shall I say... she interviewed me. I forgot that hiring a sitter is akin to dating. She arrived 10 minutes early and the house was a scary chaos-complete with a bra dangling from the stairs-no, I did not remove the bra mid stair-it only made it halfway down the stairs when I hurled it-50% closer to the laundry room. She walked in and blinked back and forth at me and at The giant flat screen with perfect doll like blue orbs and stated that she had a Vegan baked goods company and that she pursued when the stars felt properly aligned -for now, she could not bear to be seperated from little ones. She also said she did not believe in TV or Baby Einstein, as if they were religions. We also do not attend the church of Baby Einstein however when I am near my breaking point I do sometimes worship the TV in adoration.
I told her that I used to have an organic kids clothes business but now I have sold my soul to the devil and only sell clothes which are toxic in exchange for the opportunity to buy diapers and get the occasional highlight. The blue orbs blinked...I asked her if she minded cooking... she gazed terrified at the packaged precooked bacon in the neon packaging in the fridge. Yes the blue orbs seemed to imply but only Seaweed and Kimchi. Hmmmmm...she told me she had a few other families she was meeting and she was very busy but she would e-mail me...you know like a bad first date...don't call me I will call you.
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