MOMMY RECALL HAS BEEN ISSUED

BREAKING NEWS!

A number of mommies are presently under recall...

1. Brunette Mommies with a C Cup before nursing with Social Security numbers ending in 5342.
2. Redheads with Hazel eyes who never smoked pot and were born between 1669-1973 and have traveled outside the US in the past 8.3 months.
3. All mommies between 5'2" and 5'8" born within a ten mile radius of Niagara Falls on The American Side who have shopped at J. Crew.

We advise all husbands and children to drop everything they are doing this minute and see if your home contains one of these mommies. Did you not hear me the first time...Do you need me to take your big screen TV away? What about your freakin Transformer---Go get off your booty and check guys!

When initially introduced into the home the mommies were completely functional and predictable. Unfortunately, an unsettling amount of complaints regarding the mommies have been surfacing. To insure your mommy will continue functioning properly and has not been included in a recent recall go to www.recallmymommy.com and enter in your mommies unique social security number as is written on her social security card conveniently located in her wallet next to her precious $$$.
Our operators are on hand to assist you with proper recall technique in this disturbing situation.

We will keep you informed as more news updates become available.