Every subculture sports its unspoken code of conduct and mommyhood is no exception
For those of you not in the cognescenti LISTEN UP!
1. Never, ever, ever, ever steal someones babysitter!
2. Do not ask anyone for their sitters number unless you are in a dire dire emergency requiring immediete hospitalization.
3. Do not diagnose other peoples children (even if they are diagnosable and their mother is also diagnosable.)
4. Do not breastfeed without modesty infront of your friends husbands. Whether or not you are receiving dairy farm subsidies from the government is irrelevant to a man. What you see as a future organic milk business he still sees as a gigantic HOOTER.
5. Do not get all needy when a mommy does not return your phone call immedietely. You know darn well why any mommy did not return your call! HELLO...EXHAUSTION!
6. Do not write thank you notes! Think how many horrible thank you writing nights mommy's could save if we could drop this tired victorian tradition-okay, this is not really on the list but I hate them and this is my only platform to spew my personal BS!
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1 comment:
Also,
Please do not call up other Mommys asking for them to watch your 27 small screaming kids as it is suddenly a Lunar Holiday for Newts and their school is closed.
You know durn well you have not seen this Mommy for 6 months, not even to have a coffee which is spilling over as a car roars past you to spray you with cold dirty rain water from the gutter.
This who sitch will just anger Mommy A, as her kids do not attend a Newt Sensitive school, but instead a school which is based on Play Therapy and wooden faceless dolls and she will never relate to you, or your children's educational and personal biases, anyhow.
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