TwoHeadedMommy Primaries

The big TwoHeadedMommy primary is underway and it is a tight race as to who will win...Mean Mommyhead or Nice Mommyhead.
Of course, Mean Mommyhead has more cash in the bank. She is the one always screaming "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ANOTHER SUPER HERO TOY! WHO WILL PAY FOR FRIGGIN JUNIOR COLLEGE?!?" Mean Mommyhead's cheap behavior may help out as Sweet Mommyhead sees her campaign cash supply begin to dwindle. Sweet Mommyhead had a magical holiday shopping escapade which turned $150 cash into colored plastic in just one hour-PRESTO! Impressive MAGIC Sweet Mommyhead! Now can you turn it back into cash? On the flipside, Mean Mommyhead has been instigating a meaningless little war in the house and the lil two year old has been making signs on the etch sketch "-Stop the war on daddy, Quit trying to control him for Gas Money! Find a renewable energy source!" Then again... if Sweet Mommyhead wins I am sure Mean Mommyhead would not have a problem fixing the vote. Either way if there is a Mommy president in the White House (one way our founding father's obviously did try to discourage a mommy from being president was to call the residence
THE WHITE HOUSE-what idiot mommy would ever conciously try to move into an all white house? My Gosh...with juice boxes and pizza! There is no way!
Alas, if a mommy does get elected president we can all be secure in one heartening fact---there will be zero sex scandals! In fact, we can all be rest assured there will be no sex at all. I swear your honor...I did not...